A few figures

A few figures from today, in bulleted form for Dana:

• 19: the number of times I put 40 lb. Kayden in and out of his car seat
• 2: black puddles Kayden fell in
• 3: postal workers laughing at me as I tried in vain to open the locked door, sure they were not closed as the clock said 4:58pm
• 30: minutes it took to drive to the other post office
• 2: products I completely cut through on my quest to expedite packaging
• 0: minutes in Kayden's nap
• and finally- 10: feet I ran after my car. Nothing has scared me more than my car hurling in reverse up the neighbor's yard with Kayden strapped in and me not in it.

Bucket

I was seventeen when my dad brought Willie home. He looked just like my dog Tia, only bigger. A little white fluffball, small and cute. A great dog, well behaved, rarely barked. Wille was not his real name, however. Willhestayorwillhego was the name given by the previous owners. We shortened it to Willie since that was a bit long when calling him. About six weeks ago, Willie went again- surprising, seeing the ad my dad placed:

Toy puddle, 15 years old (he was only ten), we want to travel and do not want the dog around any longer

Now, my dad is notorious for these types of ads. When I was trying to sell my Lebaron convertible, for weeks I did not get one call. Low and behold, I looked on the sign, and he had printed out the wrong phone number.

A freind of the family, Avrial, loved Willie, so she decided to give him a new home. Unfortunately, he died about a week ago. Kayden asks every once in a while "Where did Willie go?" so my mom told him he kicked the bucket. Although instead of bucket, Kayden started his word with an f. The more I try to correct him, the longer and louder he repeats it! I just know this Sunday at church he is going to scream it out clear as day.

Why do they always remember those so easily? I always tell him to say I love Mommy and he never says that. Help! Any one else out there? Kids saying naughty words?

Odd February creeps me out

Feb 21, 2003 My aunt Vicki was driving under an overpass and four teenage boys dropped a brick off to the freeway below. The brick smashed through her windshield and hit her in the face. She pulled to the side of the road, and my cousin Sarah was with her and called for help. It took a while to find them, they closed down the freeway, and airlifted her to the hospital. In the midst of the storm, while waiting for the medics, they prayed for the offenders. For forgiveness, for grace.

Many of the details are horrifying. My cousin sitting alone at the hospital waiting for my uncle to arrive, the surgeries she has had and will continue to have restoring her teeth and bones, the fact these boys got off very easy. The truly amazing- this community caring so much for her, the new law known as "Vicki's law", bringing our family closer, and most importantly her forgiving spirit and love for God. All of us wanted to kill them, and yet the maturity of her faith was unbelievable- inviting the perpetrators to share in the forgiveness we all know.

Fast forward- Feb 10, 2005 My uncle was flying a private passenger and my grandpa from Ottawa Executive Airport in Zeeland to Springfield in a Piper PA-24 Comanche plane when it crashed on the Silo Ridge Golf Course in Bolivar, Mo., about 30 miles north of Springfield. The plane's broken gas gauge read that there was still a quarter tank left when the plane ran out of gas. He tried landing it, caught a tree, and disoriented thought he was upside down in that tree. Instead, they were upside down on a golf course. Unfortunately, they cell phoned rescuers informing them they were in a tree, so no one was looking on the ground. Three hours later, they were found by some local residents. If it had not been below average, freezing temperatures, they would have all died. All three of them were treated and released a week later.

So, this coming February rolling around creeps me out. These are random, really freaky accidents. I am a believer, I know everything happens for a reason. Some amazing things have come out of these situations. Not for one minute am I wishing anything else to happen though! I think I will just hold my breath until February passes!!:-)

Check out this link to Our Daily Bread with my aunt's story.

Addendum

Do you ever come across an new product, and say "Hey, I thought of that first?"

I forgot to mention that I found this product in my dumb invention quest- the enclosed umbrella. I wanted to be the inventor of this item back when I was in college. The only problem: When it rains, I can never find my umbrella. Even if I would have invented it.

Dumb Inventions

I don't want to even admit that I have bought two of these products. Which ones, you ask? Guess away.... The white trash doll. Odd, she resembles Brittany Spears. Wonder if she comes with underwear.
When it's not enough to wrestle with just your thumbs
Tired of spinning your fork? Let the spaghetti fork spin for you. As if us Americans aren't lazy enough, we need something to actually spin our fork now.
The roulette shocker. Sounds like an electrifying good time.
The rubber band ball. When snapping them at others just isn't enough.
The pizza cutter fork. Using a knife has never been so outdated.
The pet rock. I know you remember this one Michelle. Good old 80's pet rocks. At least their poop doesn't stink.
The pasta fan.
This one's for Braaad. Might be nice for hunting. Beware of using this product on your hunting trips with Dick Chaney though. He has enough target problems without adding beer to the mix.

Honorable mentions:

solar powered flashlights

pedal wheel chairs

remote control riding lawn mower

the dual hand mitten

the man breastfeeder

urinal goals

So, what about you? Any purchases from this list?

Anyone else see a problem with this?

I voted for this guy...

caption: President Bush gives German Chancellor Angela Merkel and uninvited neck massage during the G8 summit.

I do not know why, but this really tickled my funny bone. Bet she would have reacted differently if it was Clinton.

Say it ain't so!

Confession: I have been in the closet for a long time. Sitting by quietly when you all mocked Tami and Sonny. Holding my tongue and never quite admitting my prissy past for fear of label and reproach.

It all started off so simple. A "Lisa" Cheerleading Doll when I was four. Then, the seventh grade team. I was thrilled with the skirts, the pom poms, the dancing, the hair flipping (let's be real- the basketball players). All too soon it became a serious obsession. I defended cheerleading and called it a sport. Somewhere between my sophomore and junior year, it lost it's luster. Alas, in my post high school years, I have resorted to hiding my colorful past. Even mocking cheerleaders a time or two.

Tami, Sonny- interesting fact. Madonna, Halle Berry, Kim Basinger, Cameron Diaz and Kirsten Dunst were all cheerleaders. Male celebrities who were cheerleaders include Samuel L. Jackson, Steve Martin, Aaron Spelling, and even President George W. Bush. That last one might explain a few things.... that actually is him above.

Maybe my mom can answer this...were we as annoying as I think cheerleaders are now? Never watching what is actually going on during the game. Shouting for first and ten on the fourth and goal? California cheerleaders actually cheer over the loud speaker. Talk about annoying.

16 again?

Today we celebrated my mom's birthday. Without taking too much blogosphere space, a couple of great things about my mom came to mind:

• My sophomore year in high school we had huge water wars going on. My mom loaded up a cooler full of water ballons, got behind the wheel, and drove my friends and I around looking for targets. One guy was walking down Baldwin Street and started running like mad after our car. Almost caught us, too.
• Praying with me when I lost Kayden's twin. Thanking God for letting us love this baby for as long as I carried him.
• Every year getting to skip school to go shopping and lunching with mom for my birthday
• Waiting 45 minutes weekly for me to finish with practice, then driving all my friends home
• Staying an extra week after Kayden was born because I felt so lost and inept at being a mom.
• Eagle's Nest donuts. I still love them.
• Always believing in me, and always taking my side. Well, that has changed since I married Josh. Now she always takes his side, but I do not mind since it shows her great love for him.
• Having constant and horrific ear pain, and yet never thinking of herself.

There are so many more, I could fill this whole page. Thanks Mom for showing me how to be a great mother, and how to raise my kid to love the Lord. Happy Birthday....

"Your kid is so cute!"

The other day I was in Meijers (again) getting the weekly groceries that never quite last long enough. There I was picking out the extra large jumbo diapers for Kayden, when an old high school friend literally bumped into me. A little girl around six years old dressed to the hilt was sitting in the cart. Putting it nicely, she was at an "awkward" age. Should I compliment her outfit, I think? As I am grappling with what to say, I hear mom exlaim,"Isn't she the most adorable little girl?"

How in the world do I get out of this one? "Yes, she is very cute", I said and both mom and daughter beamed with pride. I know there is no excuse for these little white lies, but I did it anyway. We talked a few more minutes and then parted ways. As I was walking away, I thought about the way God made Mothers. No matter what your child looks like, moms think they are cute. I even look back at pictures of Kayden when he was a baby, and wonder what I saw in certain pictures.

Sunday lunch is always at my mom's house, so today I hauled out a box of old photos. You know those kids that never really have that awkward stage? I was certainly not one of them. I remember not being the most attractive kid, but my mom always gushed at how cute I was. Opening the box, my mom took out a couple of photos and said "Wow, I was wrong-you were not cute at all!" If you do not believe me, take one look at these photos. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe that first one.

Big old teeth juttting straight out, frizzy hair, glasses that were bigger than my face, and good old mom thought I was beautiful. Thank God for Mother's vision.

One of my favorite places to go as a child was Show Biz Pizza. Mom would load all three of us up in the car and we would head-for what seemed like hours- out to Show Biz Pizza. Long before the days of handstamping at the door, we would race in ahead of them and start begging for tokens. I would run to the Skee Ball, little brothers to the arcade style racing games, and then we would all sit down to some really greasy cardboard tasting pizza. Dotty Dog, my favorite cheerleader character (sorry Fig), would put on a dazzling show behind the silver lame curtain and I was in awe. We all usually went away with some plastic snake or sticky hand that was worth 300 tickets. I loved that place even though the balls did smell like someone pee'd in them.
Naturally now that Kayden is getting older, Chuck E Cheese is the place to be. Kayden is far more interested in putting the tokens in the slots than he is playing the game. Do you see me up in that thing? That is a mother's love. Watch out, Triplet Dad, you will be here soon.

Home Sweet Home

The plus to living in MI: No more flying home for Christmas! No loading up the suitcases, praying they were under 50 lbs (mine usually came in at 49.5 lbs), no more shuffling back and forth between parents, friends, trying to fit everyone in. It is wonderful!

The downside: next month, we will have snow. Back in CA, the orange groves would just about be blooming, the sun will be shining, and the grass will be green.

Just an onservation: Some people here in MI still celebrate Christmas long into February. You've got reindeer, snowmen, blow up machines, Santa, candy canes, wreaths, soldiers, lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!

As long as I am up here...

Lately I have been high on my soapbox here at the MiniMeMom Blog, so why stop now?

Josh and I needed to supply a loaf of bread for a dinner party. "I will quick pop in to Meijers", I thought. I rushed to get my bread and which was the shortest line? The Self Checkout, of course! So, in line I went with three people ahead of me. Three things really bother me when I am short on time:

• Check Writers- all of you who are still writing checks for groceries- do us ALL a favor and get a debit card. If you HAVE to write a check, at least have it filled out before hand. Bless her heart, the woman two in front of me wanted to write a check. By the time she found her ID, wrote out the check, signed her name, and had the attendant verify all the information, I could have whipped up a fresh loaf at home. This could quite possibly be my biggest pet peeve.
• Knowledge of the machine- I am all for a learning curve here. But if you haven't the foggiest idea how to use the self check kiosk, please go to the express lane. When there are ten people behind you is not the time to decide to figure out what a UPC code is.
• Broken machines and Line Cutters- Of course the minute it is finally my turn, I have cash in hand and I am ready to whip my UPC code over the scanner, insert my cash, and dart to my car. Oh no, the entire system goes down as I scan it. I fully realize this is God's way of trying to teach me patience. The attendant then opens one checkout lane for the five rows of self checkouters (okay, I know it is not a word). Everyone rushes over the the new line. Where am I? About fifteen back of course. So, I did something I have never done before. I went up to a boy working at Meijers, handed him $2 and ripped the UPC code off. I asked him if he would ring it up later and keep the change. He agreed, and I was out of there 30 minutes after I went in.

So, how about you fellow bloggers- PLEASE tell me you are not check writers!!! Does Meijers test your patience?

Go Left

Did Derek Zoolander come up with the road mapping for Michigan? Is that why Michiganders do not know how to turn left?

For my Californians, a Michigan U-Turn involves a no left turn at almost every major intersection. You must drive through the light in the left hand lane, turn around at another stop light aout 100 feet down the road, and double back just to take a right. Sound confusing?

I detest Michigan U-Turns. Every time I turn around, where I used to be able to turn left has become a U-Turn. I secretly think OPEC is behind it. Add up all those extra miles over the years. After all, if it was such a great idea, wouldn't all these larger cities adopt it?

Old News

Michigan Newscasters











CA Newscaster Jillian Barbarie

Notice a difference?

For five minutes, I listened as Suzanne Geha reported that not all mail was being delivered in certain parts of Grand Rapids. I guess post office workers were pulling a Newman and not delivering junk mail. Seriously the top story? No car chases, bank robberies, or murders?

I miss the nightly news from CA.

Don't Sweat the small stuff

Caledonia CRC is the second church I have really called "my church". We were wanderers in CA, never really settled into a church family. Jamestown Baptist is the church I was baptized in, married in, and still so many people there I still care about.

About two weeks ago this past Sunday, my brother Nathan called on his way home from my house. He said that the road to his duplex was blocked off by police and he could not get down his street because there had been a horrible accident. The next day we found out that it was a family (my brothers age) from Jamestown Baptist. They were at a baby dedication, had gone out to lunch as a family, and on their way home a woman lost control of her vehicle and crashed into them head on. The parents actually came upon the crash and stayed with them as they were cut out of the car. Two children were in the car- Dalton, their three year old and a 10 month old.

The ten month old escaped with minor injuries and has already been released. The three year old has not had the same luck. Broken back, lacerated intestines, high fevers, they originally thought he was going to have a similar injury to Christopher Reeves. He is currently fighting just for survival. The mom and dad have also suffered life threatening injuries and have yet to find out the condition of their son. (carepage HeathBudrew)

I guess this month has made me really reflective. And incredibly thankful. I too often get bogged down in the daily things Kayden does that bug me- terrorizing the dogs, dumping boxes of cereal out, breaking dishes, never wanting to get in his carseat just to name a few. Then I look at this precious life and I can't help but kiss Kayden five hundred times a day, watch him sleep, kiss his belly, tickle his perfectly smooth armpits, sit him down to read a book and thank God I am not experiencing this.

I give up!!

For the last eight years, I have prided myself on getting my Christmas cards out early. They have gone out December 1st, and not a minute later. We are getting to the middle of December, and I have yet to even think about Christmas cards. As a matter of fact, the thank you cards for my birthday gifts are sitting on my desk waiting for stamps. So, I came to the conclusion today that I am not doing Christmas cards this year. Sorry, folks. May this serve as your card. Merry Christmas, from the Birds

As a side note, does it seem like this year is busier? Do any of you fill your plate with so much that it is not even enjoyable? Why do we do that?

Big Daddy

This conversation happened while I was on the phone with a customer a few days ago. Our dog Carmelo was getting his belly rubbed next to me on the ottoman.

Kayden: I love Carmelo
Me: smile and nod, trying to shoo him away from the phone
Kayden looking very suspiciously at Carmello, then surprised: Melo has pee pee!
Me: SHHHH, more shooing
Kayden: Daddy has big Pee Pee!

Josh loved that one:-)

We are working with the potty chair, but I think he is just more interested in running around naked. Have a great weekend!

Back to Normal

I think today is the first day that I can say we are back to normal around here. Kayden is back to tearing things apart, and that is a relief! He discovered how to open the fridge door yesterday, leading me to discover a few broken eggs, some spilled grape syrup, and a shaken two liter of soda.

Yesterday he was still a little crabby, but no "burps" as Fig would say. Thanks to everyone who prayed for him, I was getting worried.

He also has wanted to watch the video of himself over and over. He laughs every time. Did your kids love watching videos of themself?

30 sec video-Kayden loves Finding Nemo

This is taken a couple of days ago (okay six to be exact) before all the sickness began. And yes, he is still throwing up. Will it ever end?

He laughs like this every time. Sorry about the video quality, it is taken from a camera instead of my video camera. I love it:-)