Sunday, February 25, 2007


Along with my parents, Saturday night we headed to the play area at Center Point mall. With the exception of a few kids far too large and rowdy, it is a great place for Kayden to run around and expel energy. A big skate park is a few feet away, and Kayden loves to watch the skateboarders ride the various ramps.

On the way home, we decided to stop at Meijers on 52nd and Kalamazoo. Has anyone been there? I appreciate Gaines Twsp after shopping at that Meijers. My mother and I hopped out of the car to run in and get a few gallons of ice cream for dessert. As we exited, my father pulled up in their Vibe, and the driver's side window was broken- glass shattered everywhere.

We loaded in the car, and my dad explained what happened. Apparently, a certain spouse of mine had a little bit of a flatulence problem. The smell was so bad that my dad wanted to roll down the window and halfway down, it shattered.

It was a cold ride home, but at least it did not smell:-) I just felt bad for my parents on the drive back to Jenison. Burrr. What's another week without your car, right mom?

Sorry this is starting to be a bodily function blogspot- wetbags, flatulence. It is just such an odd story, I had to share (with Josh's permission)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Soggy Sack

I met a new couple at church the other day. After we had discussed kids, church, what they do for work, the conversation went like this:

Male: So, what do you do? Do you work full time, stay at home?
Me: Yes, I stay at home with my son, and I sew as a side business
Male: Oh, that's cool. What do you sew?
Me: Baby items
Me, thinking to myself that I have to get better at pitching my products
Male: What kind of baby products?
Me: Well, my most popular item right now is a wetbag, and another
Male, Interrupting: A wetbag?
Me: Yes, a wetbag
Male, smirking: Do you know what that is?
Me: Yes, it is a waterproof bag
Male: You might want to look that one up

Befuddled, I googled it. Currently, I am selling something with the name equivalent of a soggy scrotum. That's nice. Just what someone wants as a gift.

So, I am working on a new name. Here's what I have so far:

Zip Dry
Posh Preserver
Wet Happened?
Keep it Klean
Soak N' Seal
Sealed with Style

Not great, but better than a private part at this point. No pictures needed for this post.

Monday, February 19, 2007


Anyone else having blogger's block these days? Maybe it is the cold, dreary weather, or the fact that most days we are inside all day.

Yesterday we had the brilliant idea to take Kayden sledding. After putting on boots, mittens, snowpants, hats, layers and layers of clothes, we arrived at the hill ready for some serious sledding. We went down the hill twice, and Kayden decided he was finished sledding. It was bone-cold, the kind that goes through layers and layers making your eyes sting.

Thank God for Cars and Shrek II.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Have a great weekend!

Today, in lieu of no school tomorrow or Monday and the festive-ness we are feeling in the Bird house, I invited a guest blogger to tell one of my favorite stories:

Many of us have a time in our lives when we think about it and it brings a smile to our face. For me, that time is the experiences I had in college. I developed some of my best friendships I have had with the people I went to college with. We did the simple things like play video games, go to local high school games, or hit the mall to look at the latest shoes coming out and catch a movie. Some of these experiences also involve doing things that may be on the rather ridiculous side. However, when you have to get revenge on some chicks for testing your manhood, sometimes you scoop to low levels.

During my junior year of college, my buddies and I were invited over to a friend's house to watch the Super Bowl - I think it was one of the Dallas vs. Buffalo games. Anyway, when the game was finished and we were headed back to college, we started throwing some of the girls who were at the party into the deep snow, having a good time with them. Little did we know what kind of battle we were getting ourselves into.

About a week after this happened, our school's basketball team had a very important game. We ended up winning the game, and everyone was excited. After going out to eat at the local eatery, we headed back to our apartment, where we noticed some items hanging from the tree outside our residence. As we got closer, the items became more familiar - my boxer shorts had been soaked in a tub and thrown in the tree, allowed to dry and freeze in the brisk Midwest winter. (Years later I would find out that one of my roommates allowed a group of girls to enter our bedroom and raid our boxer drawers!) And it wasn't just myself - two of my other roommates had their tight-whitish and "Lucky Draws" dangling up in the tree. It should have made me laugh, but it didn't. The girls came by our place to see our expressions and I lost it. I think every derogatory term invented for women came unfiltered out of my mouth as I ran towards their car and told them exactly what I thought of their joke. I even threatened to call the sheriff on them and had one of my buddies call them up and act as the sheriff. I think they were scared!

My friends and I came up with our ultimate revenge. We were going to take the high road and offer them an olive branch - chocolate chip cookies. However, these were going to be special cookies, ones that had a "magic" chocolate in the middle - EXLAX! We devised a scheme so that the girls wouldn't be suspicious. We made two batches of cookies, one batch without Exlax to eat with the girls when we invited them over to our place, and another batch with for them to take back to their dorm rooms to eat while they were studying. To help us out, we enlisted the cooking talents of some other chicks who wanted to help us carry out our revenge against these boxer snatchers! We made the cookies, invited the guilty girls over to our place, and pigged out on cookies without any laxatives. On their way out, we gave them another plate to eat and wished them a good night, laughing our backsides off as they headed back to our dorms. A couple of days later, our super secret spy who lived on the same floor said the whole floor smelled like diarrhea - and girls were constantly running to the bathroom to relieve themselves. The best part in the whole story is that one girl who knew there was Exlax in the cookies still ate one, because she "wanted to see what the cookies tasted like!" Another one of the girls who ate the cookies was beginning to date one of my best buddies and he was worried that she was going to dump him - they now live happily together with their three kids. Alas, I think we exacted our revenge in one of the greatest plots ever. Thanks for the opportunity to share my story - I hope you enjoyed it!

Josh's college memories are so different than mine- largely because I lived with my parents. I have had Josh tell and retell this story to me over the years, yet I still chuckled when I read this tonight. So, what about you? Any one else have a funny college memory to share?

Monday, February 12, 2007

The dreaded phone call

The score was 44-26, and I looked up to see the second string sitting below the statisticians table waiting for a dead ball. The players ran up and down the court two more times before a basket was made and all five could get in the game. The noise of the crowd amplified- some yelling for the players about to sit down, others yelling for the players now on the court. Josh's team inbounded the ball and the point guard attempted to dribble down the court. After passing the half court line, the defense grabbed the ball for an easy layup. Two points. Josh's team inbounded the ball again. They could not even get it inbound before the ball was stolen again. Third time, same thing, the point guard hardly even managed to get it to the three point line before it was stolen. The almost twenty point point spread was now back to a four point gap, and Josh sent the starters back in. At that moment, one mom leaned to me and said, " Is Coach Bird taking my son out? He has hardly got as much playing time [as those starting five]."

Playing Time. Sigh. I have heard of many coaches quiting because parents bug them so heavily. This story actually happened a long time ago, before we lived in Michigan. However, every parents quest for playing time is the same. I understand it. They came to see their child, and no matter the talent level, they see Michael Jordan. You would be surprised how often we have been bugged about playing time. Phone calls, church, four minute mini speeches trying to persuade on a voice mail, in the stands, after the game, out to dinner, the list goes on and on. Filed under: Ridiculous.

So, what are your thoughts? Do you think all kids should play equally regardless of talent? Would Chelle's off-the-knee dribble become infamous without the proper playing time she deserved?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Happy Birthday Josh

  • Two big events happened yesterday. First, Josh's turned the big 34. His favorite gift? The day off. In honor of his birthday, I want to share a couple of my favorite things about Josh.
  • His heart for others- One of my favorite stories from Redlands involved Josh driving "the Green Hornet" down the road, looked back in his rearview mirror, and our friend was in the back of his truck playing the piano as Josh was moving it. He would do almost anything for you, even if you don't ask. From moving pianos to helping out students, he has a talent for learning what a person needs help with and then fills that need.
  • Many nights we will be sitting watching Jeopardy and he will get up and get me a drink. Not because I ask him, just because he wants to do something nice.
  • He does the dishes, the laundry, and takes out the trash without me ever having to ask him.
  • Over our marriage, I can hardly think of anything Josh has said critical of me. Always positive, always encouraging. Josh has seen me through retail sales, investment banking, aerobics instructor, actress, secretary, waitress, bartender, stay at home mom, and small business owner. I would have said, "Can't you just pick one and stick with it?" a long time ago.

    In case you are voting Josh to sainthood, I better divulge his one weakness: shoes. One morning I stood in line for hours fighting grown men to buy a pair of Jordan shoes. Thought I would show you his closet, and this is not even all of them. What did he get for his birthday? More shoes.

Also welcome our two new members of the family, McNamara and Troy according to Josh. Crush and Squirt according to Kayden. They really are fun to watch!

Monday, February 05, 2007

Confessions of a SAHM

Recently, I was tagged by Chelle in a game of Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom. In random order:

  • I am obsessed with picking at my dog's eyes. Gross, I know. I can't stand the black goopeys.
  • There is some sort of string in every part of my house. I never leave the house without at least one string on Kayden or myself. Josh and I have been married seven years and have gone through six vacuums because I never cut the string from the brush.
  • I wake up at nine (I can't even comprehend waking up at six with the rest of you). The minute we wake up-before he is even out of bed- he is begging to watch Cars.
  • Upon changing Kayden's dirty diapers, I open the door to our garage and give it a good heave-ho. When Josh comes home, he is greeted by four or five dirty diapers which he then takes out to the trash.
  • There is probably one picture of Kayden per square foot of my home. My brother teases because my mom is the same way. I just love them, they remind me of certain times in his life that I want to remember.
  • Next to my sewing machine is a pile (larger than Kayden) of clothes Josh wants me to mend for him. It just keeps expanding. Most nights, my dogs sleep on that pile while I work.
  • I am obsessed with Lingo, Press Your Luck, Wheel of Fortune, and Jeopardy. One of Kayden's first words- "big bucks" and "stop".
  • I detest making phone calls, which is why I think e-mail is the best invention ever. Bill Gates would be proud.

Nicole and Katie, consider yourself tagged.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Katie DeBoer Professional Photography

Many of you know Katie DeBoer. If you have visited her blog, you know her talent is taking excellent photos. Kayden was not exactly cooperative either, he wiggles so much! Thought I would share some of my favorites. Thanks Katie!!