Something dawned on me tonight

Upward Basketball

Our Saturdays this winter have been spent watching Kayden play basketball.

One phrase has pretty much summed the experience: "Pass the Ball!"

We have quite the ball hog on our hands.

It is a process.

I could not be more impressed with the league.

Ever week at practice, the final few minutes are spent in devotions. Each child gets a Bible memory card. If they remember the verse, the next week they get a star to iron on their shirt.

Coming out of the "pre-game locker room"

As each kid gets their name announced, they run from behind the curtain. A spotlight shines on them, with smoke billowing as they enter. I think this is my favorite part. The never ending chaos of confusion of where to run provides a good laugh each week.

At half-time, a short devotional from the weekly verse is preached. I have really enjoyed the devotionals- the leaders have made them interesting and relatable.

After the game, more stars are handed out for Christ0like behavior, good defense, etc. A snack is provided in the "post-game locker room".

Kayden wore the uniform for three days straight when he got it. He loves this league, and I am so disappointed it is almost finished!

All Clear for Takeoff

My kids are absolutely fascinated by airplanes. All summer, we went to the Grand Rapids Airport overlook to watch planes. Many an afternoon was spent eating lunch on the grassy space south of the runway.

The treat of all treats came today, as a friend of the family took the boys up to the control and radar room. I can honestly say that I enjoyed more than they did! It is interesting to see what all goes into moving airplanes in and out.

In the tower, you can see for miles and miles--all the way downtown, and out to the smoke stacks on Port Sheldon. It was neat to hear the pilots talking to the tower and see airplanes taking off and landing first hand.

We also got to go into the radar room, which is unlike anything I expected. Completely black, with just the lights from the radar screens and clocks illuminating the room. I felt like we were on a space ship LOL

It was one day the boys will never forget! Kayden already asked me if we can go back on Monday, to which we told him this was a one-time deal.

This lady

ADVANCE NOTICE: I am about to get sappy.

I mentioned in my last post that this pregnancy has been an uphill journey for me. The support of my friends helped me tremendously.

I wanted to devote an entire post to these people, though. My parents.

Going in to egg retrieval, the doctor's knew there was a pretty good chance I would get really sick with OHSS. And oh, did I get sick. A good, solid 5-6 days of being sick. About three days into it, I could not keep any food down, so they wanted me to come in for an ultrasound and IV fluids.

I will never forget the love and support I felt as I was sobbing on my bed, and my parents loving embrace as they tried to comfort me. I was beside myself that, on top of all the money we had to pay, I might have to pay $1500 more to have fluid drained from my abdomen.

Time and again, they have stepped up to the plate to help me out. Only in my adult years have I learned that not all parents are like this. Not all parents will drop everything in their own life to support their kids.

Throughout these last few emotional weeks, my mom has been by my side every day to keep my mind off things.

Blessed beyond measure, I am.

A little late

...but I guess better late than never!

Christmas was weeks and weeks ago, and I just recently dusted off the old camera to take a peek at the pictures.


Unfortunately, this one represents Christmas all too well. Kayden playing keep a way with Bryce's pipe.

With Token (Amber and Justin's new dog). The kids are in love.

Papa and Grandma always spoil!

New Lego shoes from Justin and Amber

Yes, this was the best picture I got with my boys.

What color is the theme of the day?

So thrilled with their Legos!

Birthday Cake for Jesus

The best picture I could get of all five of them. Bryce was not.into.it. At all.

We had a great Christmas, and are so thankful for great friends and family, and especially Jesus birth over 2000 years ago.

A Year in the Making

Last year, I went to New York with Michelle and Katie. The second day there, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.


I was thrilled.


Unfortunately, the day after we got home, it was confirmed that I lost that pregnancy.



I was crushed.


We decided to take six months off, and save some money for the IVF process. It has been a difficult road, to say the least. Day after day, I poured my heart out through a private blog, recording my feelings (and thankful for an outlet to vent about the process). As time went on, Michelle, Natalie, and Cara were so involved with cheering me on, crying with me, and uplifting me that it become my way of communicating with the three of them.


In the past few days, I have shared the link with more and more friends going through the process. It can be really helpful to know you are not alone, what to expect, etc. You are welcome to check it out here:


infertilitystruggles.blogspot.com


I am breaking precedence and outing myself early (I am 6 weeks, 4 days pregnant). I know all of you old school moms are cringing:-) But, I really feel like I need the prayers. Please pray for my acceptance of God's will for this baby, no matter what. 33 more weeks feels like a LOOONNGG time.

Our precious bean, Baby Birdie Number Three. Due October 1, 2011.

Pit Stop

When I was in junior high school, one of my mom's best friends was my Sunday School teacher. One week, she shared a story that I have not forgotten.

Her brother was a respected OB/GYN. After graduating, he felt the Lord leading him to work in low-cost clinics to help woman that could not afford proper medical care.

The clinic was so poor, in fact, that they did not have extra staff to spare a nurse's presence in the room for physicals.


One afternoon, he cared for a woman who ultimately accused him of assaulting her. Although my mom's friend knew he was not guilty, the high powered attorneys representing this woman shed a doubt over his innocence and he was sent to prison for many years.


She went on to explain that once her brother was convicted, her life went on hold. She likened it to a race track. God and life had continually gone around the circle, yet she felt like she was in a spiritual pit-stop. It took letting go of it all in order to continue her relationship with Jesus.


As uncool as it was (I was in junior high, remember), I choked back tears hearing her pain and being touched by the honesty in which she spoke of her spiritual struggles.


Little did I know it would be 16 years later I recalled it.

I can pinpoint my pit-stop exactly. Bryce contracting RSV; that was the moment for me. Until then, having a healthy child was a given. I carried the illusion that bad stuff would happen to someone else, not me.

Sitting in that hospital room, praying over his little body after being told they were uncertain if he would live or die. The ache I felt in those moments has left me paralyzed with fear for the past few years of my life.


Looking back, it's interesting to me how long ago that was and how blessed we have been since. Everything turned out okay, and yet I remain focused on fear instead of deliverance and gratitude.


I have felt frozen.

It felt that if I let go of control, God would not carry me. I realize control is an illusion, but there were certain things that I just wasn't willing to completely surrender.

I do not want to go into exact details, but these last few weeks have been really tough for me. It has made me realize my deep need for Jesus, in spite of everything else that I have grasped so tightly these past few years. That He is the only thing that matters.

I know, it is a weighty post for a Monday evening.

But if you are willing, I would love to hear about any pit-stops you have had in life. Any verses you used to get past them?

Hold me close, Lord. Don't ever let me go.

Fish Follow Up

One down, Three to Go...

Eleven Years

More than any other year, I have really gotten to "see" Josh this year.

I have had to rely on him in ways that I haven't in the past.

Lessons have been learned about how awesome he is as a leader, and just how much that man loves me.

The boys adore him, and I sincerely thank God that they have such a wonderful role model to look up to. If both of them turn out just like him, I would consider myself one lucky lady.

Thus far, they both have the basketball part down.

Unofficially titled "Why Josh is the Coolest Ever":

Even when he deserves to be, he is never critical. Never once has he told me my breath stinks, I look fat in a dress, or if I could please not wear my retainers to bed.

This summer, when my brother got married, almost every picture of Josh was of him engaged in an act of service for someone else- holding the door open, moving flowers, helping the minister out. Can you find him? :-)

Last Saturday, I went to Chicago with my mom and sister in law on the Amtrak train. Josh woke me up to make sure I got out of bed on time (with a back rub, none the less). A peeled orange was on my dresser for breakfast when I got out of the shower. When I came downstairs, Josh had my gloves and hat laid out for me, along with GPS directions in my phone for how to get to the train station and where to park.

I am humbled that God chose me to marry this man.

In an effort to lighten up this post, I have included a few pictures from years past. My digital camera only goes back to 2004, but here are a few favorites:

Yes, that is our dogs in a baby stroller. No, he did not take them for a walk.

Neglected

This blog has been neglected.

Partly because I have not had much to say.

Christmas concerts,

seeing the trains at Meijer Gardens,

lots of MMBG work,

seeing Santa, and all the other activities surrounding this joyous time of year have kept the Bird household very busy.

Hope your season has been as activity filled and happy as ours.

My handicapped fish

We have a 20 lb aquarium set up in our kitchen that housed 3 goldfish. We have had it for a few years, and I have found goldfish therapeutic. Sometimes, I put my face next to the tank and watch them scrounge for food or pick at each other's fins.


To my surprise, I noticed we had a handicapped fish. He was missing his left eye. As such, he became my special buddy--the one I consistently dropped food near. He needed an advantage, right?


At the Halloween Hulabaloo this year, my kids came home with 2 new fish to add to the aquarium. There also were about 15 additional fish left over that I took home.

If 3 are good, 20 are better, right?

Wrong.

Every last fish turned up dead within a week of Halloween. The Hulabaloo fish even wiped out my handicapped one.

The dismal sight of the empty tank had the kids begging for a trip to Meijers, but I thought the tank needed a breather. Actually, I needed a breather from netting them out.

Tonight was the night, however, as they were on sale. Marked down from 19 to 17 cents.

Kayden picked his out and quickly lost interest. Bryce, however, would not let that fish bag out of his tight grip. Sloshing the fish around, I think they hit every last aisle display on the way to checkout.

As we headed out to the parking lot, I heard the familiar splat of goldfish hitting cold concrete.

I am sure my fish are secretly calling Bryce Darla tonight.

Let's take bets, shall we? I give them a week.

When Mom and Dad are away

When Mom and Dad are away at Bible study, and Grandma and Grandpa come to babysit, this is what can happen:

Who would have thought? My kids don't usually "craft" with me, but they did an excellent job on these with my parents.

Now THIS is the kind of turkey I like- adorable and handmade:-)

I Hate Turkey

UPDATE: I thought it would be fun to update with the finished tree. I loved this idea and plan to make it a yearly thing!

The calendar flips to November, and my countdown to Christmas starts.

In years past, I have sailed right through Thanksgiving without giving it proper prominence. The orange around the house starts to look dusty and I long for the warmth of Christmas decorations to fill each corner and cozy up our home.

As I was reflecting on why I brush off Thanksgiving, a realization dawned on me.

I hate turkey.

I don't like the flavor of it, nor it paired with stuffing, yams, rolls, etc.

Seeing that the day seems to center around that big bird, I have come to detest "the eating holiday". A small annoyance on the route to the bigger and better holiday celebrating Christ's birth.

In an effort to remember the spirit of Thanksgiving, and what it really stands for, we have put up a Thanksgiving Tree. My friend Kirsten had the great idea, and I love creating a leaf each night and placing it on the tree.

It's not pretty, but it's helping me remember the true meaning of Thanksgiving. So far, Kayden has put up "Grandma" as the thing he is most thankful for and Bryce's was Mommy.

For My Birthday

The big talk around here this past month revolved around what Kayden wanted for his birthday.

Tonight, Kayden made a list of my birthday requests. I turn 29 +3 later this month. It just sounds younger, right?

The one and only thing on my list:

No fighting for one full day.

My other request for a new BMW convertible seems more likely.

Oy Vey.

This summer, we took Kayden to the dentist for his third annual visit.

To my surprise, he had his first and only cavity.

I honestly thought there would be more (not that I wanted more:-).

The dental hygienist asked if he ate candy.

Is there such a thing as a mini-Buddy the Elf? I swear K would eat Snickers with spaghetti if I would let him.

Impulsively, I replied, "Oh noooooo. My kid never eats candy, he loves vegetables of all varieties."

Ok, not really. But I wanted to.

He comes by it naturally. I love chocolate, and my dad could eat Good N Plenty's by the bucket. My little brother has been known to eat an entire Oreo cookie package at one sitting.

When I caught Kayden climbing on the dog cage to reach a bag of candy on top of the fridge, I knew we had a problem.

I told him not to touch it, after all.

It was painful for him to watch me eat it as punishment.

Fortunately for him, the last few days has seen a flood of new candy. Trick or treating at papa's work, our church event, my parent's trunk or treat, and good ole trick or treating has filled up our pantry to overflowing.

Yes, there are eight full size candy bars in there.

Oy Vey.

I ended up separating it and putting five Ziploc bags aside.

How about you? Did it seem like your kids got a ton of candy this year?

Malibu Memory

I met Ozzy Osbourne.

Did I ever tell you that?

Probably not, since his ranking on my "Celebrities I Met While Living in California" list was quite low.

It was before the Osbournes had that strange reality show with ten thousand barking dogs and Ozzy calling Shaaaaaron all the time.

I was hired to be a glorified extra for a show called L.A.B.B.. You guessed it, the Los Angeles Beach Bash....filmed in beautiful Malibu with an artificial sun affixed to the house, to be distributed in England.

Regardless of what anyone tells you, it gets cold in California. Sporting a bikini in 65 degree weather confirmed it. And that darn artificial sun did not throw off an ounce of heat.

Various celebrities came and went throughout the day. Green Day played a concert in which they sprayed water over their adoring female fans. I officially sub-title L.A.B.B. as the day I came to hate Green Day.

I touted my celebrity knowledge when the camera man filmed a segment on what we all thought of the Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro nuptials. They forgot to mention she would arrive behind me as I spurted "I can't believe she would marry such a weirdo."

Nice. That will get you hired again.

The final segment airing of the day came when Ozzy shuffled out, presumably to talk about his new show on MTV. I clearly remember thinking how he should be the poster child for staying away from drugs and alcohol.

Tonight as I was walking through Target, I accidentally bumped into Ozzy again, complete with eye liner and black polish.

Forever and a day ago, from that life to now.

Thank you, Ozzy-look-alike, for reminding me of that day in Malibu and how happy I am living the ordinary life.

Get Your Cotton Candy!

I am about to say something profound, that you probably have never heard:

Josh hates to be touched.

Some guys are "huggers", some favor a strong handshake, perhaps even a hardy pat on the back. Josh likes none of the above.


So the fact that he has been checked three times for lice this week is hilarious. Envisioning two moms picking through his hairline as he hunches over in protest gives me a chuckle.

I bet you are scratching your head at this exact moment, huh?

5 fourth graders have come down with the creepy crawlers. I dare say it is an epidemic.




The annual tradition for Kayden's birthday is that we bring our cotton candy maker to the classroom, and each kid consumes as much sugary goodness as their stomach will allow.

Your welcome, parents.

At the forefront of my mind this week is if we should go all out and hope for lice in addition to the parasite we can't kick. Gotta go for broke, right?


In all seriousness, I might just go lunch lady style and don a plastic shower cap.

A Costume Suggestion

I love Halloween.

Considering I hate the color orange, it really is surprising.

Plotting which costumes my kids are going to wear starts before the leaves change hue.

Giving birth to Kayden on October 21st only cemented my happiness when the calendar flips to fall.

In truth, I love it because it represents the start of the holidays. Living in California for the first part of our married life, I cherished being with family around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Halloween was the start. Once pumpkins started appearing, I knew I would be flying back to MI to see my family soon. Usually Twice.

Our church has a family themed costume contest at the Halloween Hullabaloo. Winner gets to chose a basket of goodies. Last year, the coveted Snuggie was among raffle prizes.

Any hopes for winning two years in a row were dashed when Kayden foiled my Family Flintstones theme, stating he would rather be a shark than Dino the dinosaur.

How about a Harlem Globetrotter? Nope.

A hot air balloon? Nope.

PacMan? Nope. Mom, I just want to be a shark this year.

Well, do you want to win or do you want to be a shark?

Kidding. I only mustered that internally.

Or maybe externally once.

Sunday, we headed out to Party City to purchase his Scooby Do birthday party invitations. As I was picking out the Number 6 candle, Kayden said excitedly, "I think you should wear this for Halloween!"

"See, Mom! It has a big pumpkin on it!" he said in condolence.

I am sure this is just the ticket for winning the church contest.

The question is, how will I walk in those heels?

Unexpected

It all started Tuesday.

My little brother and his wife spent Monday night searching used car lots, looking for a good deal. They found a ton of Mini Vans, but Cash for Clunkers has effectively wiped out the used car market.

I had been driving Jan's Mini Van while they were out of town. The added space is undeniably nice. I remember taking Kayden and a friend to the children's museum, and how it took twenty minutes to strap his car seat between my two. Bryce has gotten so big, he cannot fit in between the front passenger seat and his car seat. In order to get him in, I have to fold him in half and carefully hoist between the two seats.

Since there was a plethora of minivans on the lot, my mom suggested selling my brother the Santa Fe and trading to a Mom Ride. Our biggest concern was price. After paying five years and finally receiving that pink title in the mail this summer, I did not want to add a monthly car payment.

Lot after lot was searched, only to find salesman more concerned with showing me the shopping cart hooks or kid viewing mirrors than discuss engine maintenance.

Finally, it was between 2. Josh took a peek at the Red Mom Ride (he did not like the body style of that one), and said NO immediately.

Can you tell we have a thing for the color gray?

my first ride

my "new" ride- a 2003 Chevy Venture

I have joined the clan. If you see me at school, give me the special two horn salute to welcome me to the group.

Oh, and cleaning five years worth of goldfish crackers and french fries out of my Santa Fe was no joke!

I Deserve This.

I was sitting across a picnic table from her; my age was six or possibly seven.

I cannot remember the conversation.
I visualize the pop-up trailers in the background, and smell the smoke from a campfire.
Recalling her name or the exact location is pretty fuzzy.

Some details are as vivid as they were that day, though. Her hair was a beautiful brown, shoulder length. It was parted down the middle. I can still see the wind grab hold of it and how it danced across her face.

A joke was told, and the group gathered around the table erupted. She was laughing the longest and hardest of all. Scanning her face, I can still see the small lines around her eyes, the spray of freckles on her cheeks.

I stopped dead when I reached her mouth.

In all sincerity, I asked her "Do you know you have a big gap in your two front teeth?"

Tact. Rather, my lack of it.

I can give you a hundred examples, the same as the first.

The time I informed the lady at McDonalds she had a giant mole on her chin. Speech Day in grade school, where I foolishly told a friend that she was the only one receiving a white ribbon. As of this day, I am not sure I have been forgiven for that one.

You see, my mom could not get me to keep my mouth shut. In all sincerity, I wasn't doing it to be mean. That might seem hard to believe, but I legitimately thought they did not know.

Today, we decided to visit Klackles Orchard.

Among other activities, you can ride in a wonderful Enchanted Pumpkin Cart that is pulled behind a tractor. Guiding you past the sprawling pumpkin patch, and into the middle of the apple orchard where you can pick a peck to bring home for apple crisp.

Upon getting back into the cart, the tractor driver peeked into our Pumpkin Carriage and gave the final instruction that we would need to latch the gate before we took off.

As he was turning to walk away, Kayden said "Mom, that guy with the red shirt has really yellow teeth."

Would it be tacky for me to wish he had a hearing problem as well?

My mom, sitting across from me, had a difficult time composing herself. I knew what she was thinking: I deserve this.

A few pictures from today: