Malibu Memory

I met Ozzy Osbourne.

Did I ever tell you that?

Probably not, since his ranking on my "Celebrities I Met While Living in California" list was quite low.

It was before the Osbournes had that strange reality show with ten thousand barking dogs and Ozzy calling Shaaaaaron all the time.

I was hired to be a glorified extra for a show called L.A.B.B.. You guessed it, the Los Angeles Beach Bash....filmed in beautiful Malibu with an artificial sun affixed to the house, to be distributed in England.

Regardless of what anyone tells you, it gets cold in California. Sporting a bikini in 65 degree weather confirmed it. And that darn artificial sun did not throw off an ounce of heat.

Various celebrities came and went throughout the day. Green Day played a concert in which they sprayed water over their adoring female fans. I officially sub-title L.A.B.B. as the day I came to hate Green Day.

I touted my celebrity knowledge when the camera man filmed a segment on what we all thought of the Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro nuptials. They forgot to mention she would arrive behind me as I spurted "I can't believe she would marry such a weirdo."

Nice. That will get you hired again.

The final segment airing of the day came when Ozzy shuffled out, presumably to talk about his new show on MTV. I clearly remember thinking how he should be the poster child for staying away from drugs and alcohol.

Tonight as I was walking through Target, I accidentally bumped into Ozzy again, complete with eye liner and black polish.

Forever and a day ago, from that life to now.

Thank you, Ozzy-look-alike, for reminding me of that day in Malibu and how happy I am living the ordinary life.