Today, in lieu of no school tomorrow or Monday and the festive-ness we are feeling in the Bird house, I invited a guest blogger to tell one of my favorite stories:
Many of us have a time in our lives when we think about it and it brings a smile to our face. For me, that time is the experiences I had in college. I developed some of my best friendships I have had with the people I went to college with. We did the simple things like play video games, go to local high school games, or hit the mall to look at the latest shoes coming out and catch a movie. Some of these experiences also involve doing things that may be on the rather ridiculous side. However, when you have to get revenge on some chicks for testing your manhood, sometimes you scoop to low levels.
During my junior year of college, my buddies and I were invited over to a friend's house to watch the Super Bowl - I think it was one of the Dallas vs. Buffalo games. Anyway, when the game was finished and we were headed back to college, we started throwing some of the girls who were at the party into the deep snow, having a good time with them. Little did we know what kind of battle we were getting ourselves into.
About a week after this happened, our school's basketball team had a very important game. We ended up winning the game, and everyone was excited. After going out to eat at the local eatery, we headed back to our apartment, where we noticed some items hanging from the tree outside our residence. As we got closer, the items became more familiar - my boxer shorts had been soaked in a tub and thrown in the tree, allowed to dry and freeze in the brisk Midwest winter. (Years later I would find out that one of my roommates allowed a group of girls to enter our bedroom and raid our boxer drawers!) And it wasn't just myself - two of my other roommates had their tight-whitish and "Lucky Draws" dangling up in the tree. It should have made me laugh, but it didn't. The girls came by our place to see our expressions and I lost it. I think every derogatory term invented for women came unfiltered out of my mouth as I ran towards their car and told them exactly what I thought of their joke. I even threatened to call the sheriff on them and had one of my buddies call them up and act as the sheriff. I think they were scared!
My friends and I came up with our ultimate revenge. We were going to take the high road and offer them an olive branch - chocolate chip cookies. However, these were going to be special cookies, ones that had a "magic" chocolate in the middle - EXLAX! We devised a scheme so that the girls wouldn't be suspicious. We made two batches of cookies, one batch without Exlax to eat with the girls when we invited them over to our place, and another batch with for them to take back to their dorm rooms to eat while they were studying. To help us out, we enlisted the cooking talents of some other chicks who wanted to help us carry out our revenge against these boxer snatchers! We made the cookies, invited the guilty girls over to our place, and pigged out on cookies without any laxatives. On their way out, we gave them another plate to eat and wished them a good night, laughing our backsides off as they headed back to our dorms. A couple of days later, our super secret spy who lived on the same floor said the whole floor smelled like diarrhea - and girls were constantly running to the bathroom to relieve themselves. The best part in the whole story is that one girl who knew there was Exlax in the cookies still ate one, because she "wanted to see what the cookies tasted like!" Another one of the girls who ate the cookies was beginning to date one of my best buddies and he was worried that she was going to dump him - they now live happily together with their three kids. Alas, I think we exacted our revenge in one of the greatest plots ever. Thanks for the opportunity to share my story - I hope you enjoyed it!
Josh's college memories are so different than mine- largely because I lived with my parents. I have had Josh tell and retell this story to me over the years, yet I still chuckled when I read this tonight. So, what about you? Any one else have a funny college memory to share?
8 comments:
Everyone who read this is now better for the experience. I don't think there is a person out there who didn't dream of making Exlax cookies but never had the nerve. Josh is my hero!
I spent 2 years up as Ferris and I only have one story I think I can tell on this venue.
When I was there most students walked to class and a few rode bikes. The people on the bikes always swerved in and out of the walkers sometimes brushing up against or even hitting them. It was general consensus that the walkers hated the bike riders. Most of my classes were in the construction building right next to my dorm but I had one class where I had to walk over near the library for some stupid class. This was the only time I really had to deal with the bikers.
Anyway, one day we were walking over there and a bike just missed me from behind. My buddies and I were fuming about the "idiots on bikes" when I saw one coming from the front. I waited, hoping he'd come real close, and when he did I just clothes-lined him. Left him flat on his back with his bike "ghost-riding" away for a bit. "Walkers" all around laughed and gave minor praise.
I don't think it really solved the problem but it sure made me feel good and gave us something to talk about for a while.
I knew Josh was the guest writer!
"hitting to the mall to look at the latest shoes coming out"
that gave it away :)
I'll have to think about a carefully selected college story, as Fig will surely read it...
Brad, I love that the bike was ghost-riding. Funny story. Did the bike rider try to fight you? He had to have been mad.
He was mad but he was about my size or a bit smaller and most of the people around were happy so he probably figured he wasn't going to get anywhere.
Chelle, tell the one about the the (hic) swim/flip/turn and the chin!!! LOL (hic) when you were visiting Dana.
LOL! Was Josh ticked at the guy who let the girls in or what???
nver mind...it was years later. I cant believe no one spilled the beans about how the girls got in, in the first place.
Braaaad, you read my mind. I might have to tell of that completely sober incident.
I do not have a college story because I never went myself, but I will share a experence that my brother in law had at school. One Saterday night he was in his dorm and heard a ton of noise comming from the sidewalk in front of his building. He naturally looked out the window to see what was going on, to his suprise stood 2 police officers drenched from top to bottom. At the same time they looked up and saw him looking out and laughing. A couple of minutes later they were at his door and arrested him for throwing water balloons at them. He had no idea who did it but spent the night in jail with nothing but boxer shorts and a t-shirt on. They kept him untill someone came and bailed him out.
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