The score was 44-26, and I looked up to see the second string sitting below the statisticians table waiting for a dead ball. The players ran up and down the court two more times before a basket was made and all five could get in the game. The noise of the crowd amplified- some yelling for the players about to sit down, others yelling for the players now on the court. Josh's team inbounded the ball and the point guard attempted to dribble down the court. After passing the half court line, the defense grabbed the ball for an easy layup. Two points. Josh's team inbounded the ball again. They could not even get it inbound before the ball was stolen again. Third time, same thing, the point guard hardly even managed to get it to the three point line before it was stolen. The almost twenty point point spread was now back to a four point gap, and Josh sent the starters back in. At that moment, one mom leaned to me and said, " Is Coach Bird taking my son out? He has hardly got as much playing time [as those starting five]."
Playing Time. Sigh. I have heard of many coaches quiting because parents bug them so heavily. This story actually happened a long time ago, before we lived in Michigan. However, every parents quest for playing time is the same. I understand it. They came to see their child, and no matter the talent level, they see Michael Jordan. You would be surprised how often we have been bugged about playing time. Phone calls, church, four minute mini speeches trying to persuade on a voice mail, in the stands, after the game, out to dinner, the list goes on and on. Filed under: Ridiculous.
So, what are your thoughts? Do you think all kids should play equally regardless of talent? Would Chelle's off-the-knee dribble become infamous without the proper playing time she deserved?
11 comments:
Tough call...hmmm...as Mr.Incredible says, "We live in a world where mediocrity is celebrated."
I agree...Ridiculous.
Ohhhh, where to start! This is one of my pet peaves with this PC world. Everyone has to feel good and everyone "wins". Kids need to learn that there is disappointment in life. I don't want to get started, but I could go on for hours.
I agree with Braaaad.
I agree with Brad--he could go on for hours and about the "everyone wins" philosophy, however kids will definitely learn about disappointment one way or the other, it doesn't always have to be on the sports field. It is OK for a 5 year old T-Ball team to have no winners or losers!
I believe is NOT OK for parents to pester coaches, teachers, and the like in an effort to give their children equality with the others. We are not all equal beings, sporting abilities included. There will and always will be a first, second, and third string. Parents need to put trust in the coaches/teachers that they are doing what is best. It is a delicate balance for someone in Josh's position.
The goal is two-fold winning, but also learning, especially for young people.
I don't see this issue as black and white as Braaaad.
And yes, I am glad my coach gave me my 6 minutes at the end of the first half. It wasn't a call from my Dad that got me in, I earned it.
And then lost it following the boofed up lay-up.
I agree that certain ages, when they are learning, they all deserve equal playing time. I think they deserve a chance to get better. I do understand at the older ages that you aren't all going to play the same amount and that is a good lesson for your kids to learn. As my mom would say "Life isn't fair". I hope that when Noah gets older I remember my own advice.
Let's remember why we play sports at all. First, for the fun if it. Too many parents put pressure on their kids, coaches and themselves in trying to reach perfection. Secondly, it is to learn lessons. Hence, the kids (and parents) need to learn rules, teamwork, individual hardwork, and gradification after a job well done. When kids are young they need lots of complements if they are trying hard but as they get older they need to know the difference of God given talent compared to inability. (sorry Chelle). I will never yell at a coach, official, or a kid who is trying their hardest. I will question one who is not trying or does not have that God given ability. Try something else. I did. Amen.
I agree with Braaaad about going on for hours with this topic but I'll just tell you what a Varsity Volleyball coach once told me. Until kids get past Jr High they should all get equal playing time and you should encourage them all to play. The reason being is that kids don't all develop at the same rate. As a Varsity coach you don't want to see that 6' 3" 7th grader get cut from the team because he trips over the lines on the floor, you might keep him off the team forever. You also don't want to sit him on the bench the whole game because he needs to learn about the speed and intensity of game conditions. Then when he becomes a 6'8" senior and he has developed his coordination by playing all those years you have a star that you might have lost if you had cut him or sat him on the bench.
Basically until Varsity your playing for a good time, not any type of championship.
Lots of opinions :-)
I am not sure if any you know the rules in the league Dutton is in, but basically none of the starters can play the entire second period. Evey coach has to play the second or third sting the entire time. It's usually a low scoring period.
What bothers me is all the complaining about playing time done by parents. Asking if their son is going to play that night, otherwise they won't come to the game. Bugging me in the stands is my least favorite. I get defensive.
Other factors- how much a kid is willing to practice, their heart for the game, God given ability, etc. are all deciding factors as well. What bugs me is that some lazy kids want equal playing time with someone who practices daily. Their parents are usually the loudest, too.
Hi mama! I just wanted to let you know that I am engaged. I'm sure Ann told you, but I wanted to tell you myself. I am so happy! I hope all is well with you!
Jillian
Hey ... I just checked out your blog since I frequent Dana's & Chelle's and as a former coach, I just have to add my two cents. First off, the kids know who are good players. Secondly, does the team want to win or do they want everyone to play? I don't know very many kids that like to lose. After a varsity volleyball tournament, the parents of one of my "weaker" players came up to me and were livid that their daughter had not played more during the tournament. Trying to be as gracious as a coach can be in that situation, I explained that she wasn't improving at practice. The player - their daughter - called me that night and apologized and said she didn't ask her parents to call me and she knew exactly why she wasn't playing more. Hmmmm ... seems like kids get it & parent's don't.
Good point- I think the kids do get it. I was going to put this in my original post and then forgot.
Before I had Kayden I always did the books for Josh. I looked down the bench and saw one of Josh's players eating Cheetos and drinking a Mountain Dew. Sure enough, Josh calls him in the game, and he has to close his MD and lick the orange off his fingers. He knew he wasn't going to play. He did not care, he just wanted to be a part of the team.
Josh actually sits down with all of the second and third string individually before the season starts to let them know what their role is on the team. All of the kids are usually okay with it, it is the parents that are so fussy.
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