Brutal.

It all started with a thud.

Josh and I had a surprise birthday party to go to this evening for his mom. He had just returned from the post office, and it had taken longer than he thought to mail today’s packages.

We were all scrambling. I was in the upstairs bathroom trying to get dressed, across the hall from Kayden’s room, when I heard it.

A giant thud.

I paused for a moment, wondering if it was a Kayden thud or a Bryce thud. I heard Josh say “Oh Crap.”

I knew it was Bryce.

I hurried to the room to see if Bryce was okay. Josh was just picking him up off the floor. He had fallen off the bed.

I looked him over to see if he was okay, and he was acting really strange. Wearing a white onesie, his skin was the same hue. Ghost like, actually. His back was arched, and his eyes were rolled back in his head. His mouth was gaping open, and he did not have control of his head.

I told Josh I wanted to take him; I thought for sure he would let out a large scream.

Nothing. No crying, no tears, no sound.

That part was even scarier than a loud wail, honestly.

As I took him, the weight of his head slammed into my chest. He had no control over his head, and his right arm was limp and his back was still arched.

I lifted him up to my eye level, and tried to see what was going on. His eyes were glazed, and he looked unresponsive. He could hardly pick up his head to look at me.

I ran over to the mirror to see his full body. His eyes were still pretty glossy, and he was not moving his little arm.

A huge knot began forming in my stomach.

I ran downstairs, intent on calling the paramedics, and THANK GOD he looked up at me and smiled. I just kept checking him over and over to make sure he was, in fact, looking at me. He would put his head on my shoulder and I would prop him right back up to make sure. It took another seven minutes for him to start using his arm again. I was very, very scared.

We got to PT with kids like this- kids that have fallen off counters/beds/high surfaces and have serious brain damage. One of the moms I talk to every week has 18 month old twin boys- one had been dropped and landed on his head and has trouble with speech, balance, and motor skills. Visions of that flashed through my head.

I feel so blessed that he snapped out of it.

Trying to keep focused, we scurried to still make it to the surprise party. We ran every yellow light (except the one with the cop sitting at), trying like mad to get there on time.

We arrived five minutes late.

Nice.

Happy 60th Birthday, Mom.

I walked in, saw that we had ruined the surprise, and burst into tears.

Frazzled and embarrassed, we took our seats at this fine dining establishment.

Kayden looked so tired while we were waiting for our food. He just sat with a blank stare on his face, playing idly with the forks. Usually full of energy, I thought to myself that he needed to go to bed early.

I just started cutting Josh’s steak (don’t ask LOL), and Kayden threw up all over the table. And it was not like the, “oops, that is hardly noticeable”. It was six times, keeled over hurling on the floor, all eyes on him, all over my pants kind of throw up.

Brutal.

Brutal, Brutal, Brutal.

I give. It is ten pm, and I am going to bed.